TFP049-How To Create A Rewards System Part 1

TFP049-How To Create A Rewards System Part 1

Podcast
Episode #49 - How to Create a Rewards System Part 1 One of the questions that we get the most is something along these lines: "My foster kid won't do [fill in the blank]. What punishments should I use?" The answer is simple. Stop punishing and build a rewards system. Benefits of the Rewards System I think here is a good place to look at some of the cons of punishing compared with the benefits of rewarding. Punishments teach kids to lie, attempt to escape negative consequences, and it hurts positive relationships. Punishments motivate with fear. I'm not saying that there will never be a time to punish, but an effective rewards system can all but eliminate any need to punish. Rewards systems teach kids to be honest, self accountable,…
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TFP048-How to Foster a Family

TFP048-How to Foster a Family

Podcast
Episode #48 - How to Foster a Family with Kelsey Flannery We are so lucky to have Kelsey Flannery with us to share her amazing story. Kelsey is licensed to take kids from 0-5 and has 2 placements right now. She is 23 and found her calling to help other people already, even though she is still so young. Kelsey worked at a church and worked with a special needs boy and became really good friends with his mom who inspired her to become a foster parent. We found Kelsey and her story on Facebook and were super inspired by it and reached out to her right away to be on our podcast and share her story with you! You can check out her guest blog post on this story…
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TFP047-5 Tips to Teach your Kids Responsibility

TFP047-5 Tips to Teach your Kids Responsibility

Podcast
Episode #47- 5 Tips to Teach your Foster Kids Responsibility Teaching responsibility as your youth gets older gets harder and harder. Here are some quick tips to help your foster youth learn responsibility: 1.  Start as soon as you can.  – I know that you all get kids at different ages, so the best way to teach responsibility, is to do it right away. No matter how old of youth you get in your home –babies not included– you will be able to teach some form of responsibility, so the sooner you start the sooner they will start. 2. Have a Routine. – Sometimes when we get lazy we just do things as they need to be done, but this doesn’t teach responsibility very well. When you have a routine that your…
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TFP046-Getting out of Debt!

TFP046-Getting out of Debt!

Podcast
Episode #46- Getting out of Debt! We have Michael Taylor from Householdbudgetcoach.com here to talk to us about how to get out of debt! How did Michael and his wife pay off $34,000 in 21 months? Michael grew up seeing his parents struggle financially.  They were poor.  He wanted to escape that struggle.  That drive spilled into my adult life. But first he went to college and a job and liked the idea of having money. He had some student loans and also get married and go into some debt with cars and other things. What are some key things to do to get out of debt. Money mindset change - Get over the status mindset.  Internalize the mindset of living within your means. Communication - If you're married, discuss your budget/spending at least weekly.…
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TFP045-Time for Taxes with Michael Taylor

TFP045-Time for Taxes with Michael Taylor

Podcast
Episode #45 - Time for Taxes with Michael Taylor  Michael's Background: Married for 21 years and was a foster parent for 6 years during that time. He and his wife were able to adopt 1 of their sons from foster care. They were invested in having good communication with the bio families. Foster care is hard, but they are glad that they were able to help kids and that their lives were changed when they adopted their son. *Michael Taylor is NOT a tax accountant* Tax Questions! Is money from respite only considered taxable income? Check with your tax accountant! Can I claim a foster child on my taxes? You have to meet certain criteria, but if you meet them, then yes. 8 Screening questions to determine if you can…
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TFP044-Why You Shouldn’t Label Your Kids

TFP044-Why You Shouldn’t Label Your Kids

Podcast
Episode #44 - Why You Shouldn't Label Your Kids What are labels? A label is an idea that we assign to ourselves or other people. Usually this has to do with something that you have done. Where we place someone in a role. -Messy eater, Bossy, Always Late, etc. Here is a link to the book that we read and talk about on this episode. This is not an affiliate link.  How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk What if it is a good label? Pressure on kids Sometimes we say things to our kids like, "You are so Honest!" "You are such a hard worker!" Not necessarily true May narrow interests for the future. Kids like to please adults and will be willing…
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TFP043-The One Thing You Should Start Doing in Your Home Today!

TFP043-The One Thing You Should Start Doing in Your Home Today!

Podcast
Episode #42- The One Thing You Should Start Doing in Your Home Today! This is something that we have done in our home for quite awhile. It is called Compliment Time! This is something that we feel has made one of the biggest differences in our home. What is compliment time? We meet together every day and this is sometimes in our kitchen around the dinner table, and sometimes in the car when things are crazy, but we try and do it everyday. You can either choose to Get a Compliment from someone of your choice, Of You can choose to Give a Compliment to someone you choose. Benefits of doing compliment time: Compliment time benefits you - It helps you really start to focus more on the positives that are…
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TFP042 -How To Build Success Through Failure

TFP042 -How To Build Success Through Failure

Podcast
#42 - How To Build Success Through Failure One of the things that we've noticed since becoming foster parents is that everyone is afraid of letting foster kids fail. We've seen teachers who are willing to just hand them a grade because they don't want them to fail, caseworkers and foster parents who won't allow foster kids to do anything because they are worried they'll make a mistake, and bio parents who refuse to let their children re-earn trust because they've been hurt in the past. Why is it so hard to let kids fail? Let's face it, foster kids have the deck stacked against them. In fact, chances are they will struggle with life after foster care, and many will experience one failure after another. Why wouldn't we try…
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TFP041-7 Tips to Handle Hard Caseworkers

TFP041-7 Tips to Handle Hard Caseworkers

Podcast
Episode #41 - 7 Tips to Handle Hard Caseworkers As we've fostered for almost 7 years, we've noticed that it is often hard to get along with caseworkers. So, we thought that it might be helpful if we came up with a list of things that we do that help us get along with caseworkers. Know what you'r getting into. Realize that you are not going to like all of your caseworkers. Some caseworkers will be easier to get along with than others. It IS possible to get along with any caseworker. You need to be in control of you. You cannot control your caseworker. They cannot control you. No one can make you feel any emotions. Be proactive. (This one is a BIG one!) Set boundaries. Don't let your…
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TFP040-I’ve Been Rewarding…Now What?

TFP040-I’ve Been Rewarding…Now What?

Podcast
Episode #40 – I've Been Rewarding...Now What? Awesome Question! We got an email the other day from one of our listeners about rewards and transitioning away from rewards. Here's the question: "How do you transition from giving rewards for things [your foster kids do, to] foster kids doing that thing without a reward? So for example, if I explain to my foster kid what kind of behavior I expect from them in the grocery store and motivate them with the reward of a candy bar, we role play, go to the store and everything goes great and they get their reward how long do we keep this up? Do they get a candy bar for every task, day of good behavior, etc. forever?" Awesome question. So, here's what we think. Rewards don't…
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