Rewards Systems Part 3, Skills and Behaviors
Here’s another post to accompany the podcasts that we recently recorded about creating a rewards system in your home, where we gave away a FREE 6 Step Guide Creating Rewards Systems. We feel that it is important to realize that we focus on skill and behaviors when we use rewards systems. Here are some skills that we commonly work on with our foster kids.
If you haven’t listened to these episodes, please click the link below and give them a listen.
Also, grab your FREE 6 Step Guide Creating A Rewards Systems HERE!
Why do we focus on skills and behavior?
Skills and behavior are things that your foster kids can really work on, mostly skills. When you boil it down to a specific skill, it makes if easy for you and your foster kids to focus specifically on that one or two skills.
If your foster child throws a fit every time you say “No” to something, it would be easy to focus on throwing a fit, or how mad they are, or how mad we are. Instead, if you focus on the skill of “Accepting No” you can stay positive and work on building a skill.
- Accepting No
- Look the person in the eyes,
- Stay calm,
- Say “Okay”
- Leave it at that (don’t argue!)
As we see our foster kids using a specific skill, and the specific behaviors that go with it, we praise and reward them. As often as possible!
So what skill do we focus on?
We use a book called, Teaching Social Skills to Youth, A Step-by-Step Guide to 182 Basic to Complex Skills, by Dowd and Tierney. It has tons of skills plus steps to make it even easier.
The 4 basic skills that all of our foster kids work on until they are proficient are all found in this book. They are:
- Following Instructions
- Accepting Feedback
- Accepting “No”
- Disagreeing Appropriately
Others that we work on are:
- Communicating Honestly
- Giving a Compliment
- Getting a Compliment
- Asking for Help
- Completing Assignments
- Helping Others
- Showing Respect
- Listening to Others
- Following Rules
- Going to Bed On Time
- Waking Up On Time
- Showing Sensitivity to Others
- And oh so many more…
- I recommend you get the book mentioned above!
Those are just a few of the skills and behaviors that we work on with our foster kids. Like with the rewards in our system, we also tailor the skills and behaviors to fit our foster kid’s needs.
We stay on the same page with them. We know, they know, we all know what skills are being worked on. We all know what the expectations are and what to look for, and we all know what rewards are being worked for and earned.
This is a very deliberate, focused effort for all of us! It takes work, but man does it WORK!
Foster kids work very hard when they know what is expected of they, why it is expected, and that they will be rewarded for doing so.