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Nice is Not Always Easy

We know that being nice to our kids is not always the easiest thing to do. We get grumpy and we get emotional and we say or do things that we regret and are not nice at all. We get very complacent in our parenting sometimes and those emotions take control. We have a few suggestions that we hope will help you in being nicer to your kids, foster or not!

  1. Make Sure to Get Enough Sleep – We know that this can be hard depending on your situation, but do your best and actively make the effort to get enough sleep so that you can be nicer to your kids.
  2. Take Deep Breaths before dealing with negative behaviors – Sometimes deep breathing isn’t enough, but take a minute to step outside of your emotions and try and be a outside person looking in. This can help you get past your frustrations in the moment and can help you be nicer.
  3. Praise, Praise, Praise – Almost nothing is as nice to a child as being recognized for the things they are doing right. We like to focus too much time and effort on all of the things that they aren’t doing well or need correcting, but praise is an amazing tool.
  4. Take time to be 1 on 1 with each of your kids – When you have a lot of kids it is easy to get lost in the crowd. Make sure to spend some one on one time with each of your kids so they know they are important as an individual. It is easier to be kind when you have good times to cherish.
  5. Manage your outside stress – It is easy to get overwhelmed by everything that is going on in your life outside of being a parent. Take time to deal with those things in a healthy way.
  6. Think of their age, understanding, and functioning level – It is way to easy to get frustrated at our kids of just being kids. They want to be loud and noisy and have fun, and we forget what it is like. Don’t think that a 6 year old can do the same things you would expect a 16 year old to be able to do. That would not be nice.
  7. Empathy – This is similar to the one above. Empathy helps your child know that they have someone in their corner and that you are really willing to listen to how they feel. You may even be able to relate a similar story of frustration from when you were younger.
  8. Make sure to take Alone time for yourself – We know it is easy to forget about yourself. You want to help these kids, they need you to take care of them constantly. But don’t forget that when you don’t take care of you, you are less nice and it is easy to get upset and snappy with your children. When you take time away, even for a small amount of time for yourself (reading, exercising, date night, etc.) you are a much nicer person to your kids.
  9. Stop and Reset – Remember that we all do things that we regret…But tomorrow is another day. Forgive yourself and try and do better tomorrow. You can only be nicer to your children if you are nicer to yourself.

Call to Action:

Pick one or two of these and commit to working on them so that you can be kinder to your children in your home.

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Until next time!

Ben & Deb Pugh
The Foster Parents